Vaso de Barro

Hello! It's been exactly 3 months since I've updated my blog. That means I'm 7 months (almost 8!) living in Brazil. Unbelievable how time flies. My birthday came and went. I sat myself at the beach watched the sun rise on my birthday (at 4:48 in the morning!). It was a glorious experience. On the other side of the coin, I missed my mom, with whom I share said birthday, so much it hurt.

I was looking back at what I wrote in February and this struck me: "My 'job description' I will only expect to contain one word: serve. When we're a part of the family of God in a congregation, we must understand that we're joining our lives with other humans. People as individuals are constantly changing, so it makes sense that the needs of a group also change. My philosophy for as long as I'm in Recife is simple: 'see a need, fill a need'."

That's still so true today, maybe more now than ever. The newness has worn off in teaching English: I now find it quite easy and stress-less, so I find myself with a bit more time that I consider "free time". So let's add more activities!

The churches of Christ in Brazil have begun a program similar to the program I'm here with, they call it AME (adventures in evangelical missions). Anyway, a girl from the congregation in Boa Viagem trained with them and went to Natal, a city 3 hours north of here, to complete her two year mission. Due to some issues she had to return, but the good news is she will still be completing her mission: here! I'm ridiculously excited about this. 
I knew what I was getting myself into when I came here by myself, and for the most part I've been able to do everything the church has asked of me. One thing, though, that's really lacking in this congregation (as the leadership here here has expressed) is people to visit others, whether sick/older members who can't come to church, people who have withdrawn from the congregation, visitors who have come to the congregation, or whatever the case may be. It's something that I have seen is one of my favorite things to do, and something that always shows great effect in the lives of others: one-on-one or small group conversations and Bible studies to encourage and evangelize. But it's also something I cannot do alone (for many reasons). I've asked several ladies of the congregation to go with me on visits over the last few months, but it seems that few are willing (sorry for the brutal honesty, but I've seen that in the American churches, too, so no, I'm not criticizing the Brazilians). So the girl who has returned to work with our congregation and I, plus the American missionaries here, sat down to talk about this and other ideas she has for how she can be useful in the congregation. She's really excited about the prospect of doing visits. She will also be helping out with the youth group and the teenage girls' group, so I'm all around very encouraged to have her partnering with me in these things. Please be praying for her as she seeks to do God's will here in Recife and pray for us as we begin to work together. 

Can we talk about culture stress? I know it seems like that's all I talk about, but it's real and it's big and it's affecting my work a little. It isn't a huge, in your face kind of thing, but you know those seasons of life where you're just down and you don't know why? I would say it feels a lot like that. I'm discouraged, not by anything going wrong or anything specific, but just because. And the general feeling of discouragement is affecting my perspective of every day events. 
An example: If the teenage girls don't talk much during our weekly study and meeting, instead of just thinking, 'man, maybe it's a bad day or a bad week, or maybe they're busy with a lot of end-of-the-year school stuff and distracted', my thoughts and feelings go something like this: 'man, it's been SEVEN MONTHS and I still can't relate to these girls. I don't have a deep relationship with a single one of them, and I haven't seen improvement in how they open up about the hard stuff in life. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Is my Portuguese that bad, that maybe they just plain don't understand me?' I know, it sounds ridiculous and dramatic, but honestly, that's where I am. I'm grateful for the training I received back in the States that has helped me identify these feelings as feelings of culture stress, not signs that I'm not being effective. However, identifying the feelings and dealing with them are different. It's hard at times not to be discouraged. But please, dear reader, don't worry about me: this is normal and it comes and goes in waves. Tomorrow I could be feeling on top of the world, "SuperMindi!" I'm not bipolar. I'm just trying to figure out who I am and how I fit in Brazil. I need to remain calm. I know it. It's just a season. I will push through it. I hope I wrote this all in a way that it's accessible to my readers, the majority of who have quite possibly not experienced something like this. So while I work and attempt to stay encouraged, I remember the words of Moses and try to quiet my heart: 

"And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Exodus 14:13-14)

Nutella pizza instead of cake on my birthday with some of my Brazilian "family". What a joy!